Patience vs. Age

[steveb]

I'm just a bit north'a 50 now. I find my patience waning. Used to be, I could just walk away, or state my opinion, and then just walk away. Feel no need to convince others of my view. Now, it bothers me more. Will try to behave myself here. steve b

[kings6]

I am of the same age and same opinion. I no longer feel the need to accept poor service without speaking up, am no longer reluctant to say something to perfectly healthy young people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot nor am I willing to put up with "crap" from friends and family over petty stuff. Life is too short, precious and finite.

[AxeHandle]

Now guys.... Letting the way someone behaves dictate the way you carry yourself? I may not be as old and crusty as some of you but isn't age supposed to mellow us out? Heck, I got scars over my eyes and teeth marks on my knuckles but the last time I punched anyone on the mouth was a good 40 years ago. Still remember my mother telling me that those crotchety old people we met in the nursing homes were crotchety young people. Man up and set the example. You can make a difference in someone's life with simply your attitude, outlook on life, and the way you conduct your business. You never know whose life you are going to touch. It is all you have left to get done!

[steveb]

The patience vs age thing came to me because I "stepped in it" on another site. Yrs back, I'd have avoided the issue, or apologised if I thought I'd hurt someones feelings,etc.. this time, I willingly stepped in it, and feel no need to avoid voicing my full opinion. Still don't feel the need to convince others, they are welcome to their opinion. My annoyamnce due to their opinion possibly influencing others, thats what bothers me. My second worry, of course, is to step back and try to be sure, that I'm right in the first place ! LOL ! Am trying to avoid that crusty thing. steve b

[rep1954]

Steve as you pass the midpoint and reach the other end of the 50's your frustrations will wain.

[steveb]

We're still talking about shootin', right ? steve b

[Frank V]

Dec 9, 2010 9:57:51 GMT -5 AxeHandle said:

Now guys.... Letting the way someone behaves dictate the way you carry yourself? I may not be as old and crusty as some of you but isn't age supposed to mellow us out? Heck, I got scars over my eyes and teeth marks on my knuckles but the last time I punched anyone on the mouth was a good 40 years ago. Still remember my mother telling me that those crotchety old people we met in the nursing homes were crotchety young people. Man up and set the example. You can make a difference in someone's life with simply your attitude, outlook on life, and the way you conduct your business. You never know whose life you are going to touch. It is all you have left to get done!

Well said Axehandle, It's hard to just walk away, but most times it's the best.
Frank

[kings6]

I think you guys are taking it wrong. No one is looking to pick a fight but let me give you a few examples of what I am talking about. We recently stayed in an extended stay type facility in Spokane. Full kitchen, two bedrooms, living room etc. The shower head ran as hard as a 4 week old baby could wet and the TV had been "worked" on and the staff had to come in several times to reset stuff. When we left they asked us to fill out a survey which I honestly did. No embellishment but no sugar coating either. When we got home the manager called me and thanked me for the imput and said that they would get maintenence right on stuff.

A more personal example occured a few weeks ago. My mother in law passed away just over two years ago and the three brother and sister in laws could see no sense in spending money on a headstone. The simple brass plaque the cemetary provided was good enough for mom they said. Now you have to understand my wifes dad died when she was 15 and mom raised my wife and her younger sister on the thinnest shoestring that a nurse's aid could hang on to. She took her mom into her own apartment when grandma got dementia and cared for her 24/7 until grandma passed away.

When the family wouldn't move on the headstone I told my wife we would do in on our own. Several months later and more than a few dollars later, we got the call the stone had been set. The next weekend we drove the hour south to see the stone and they had gotten all the printing and design work right but used the wrong colored granite! The nice but very clear phone call to the mortuary who handled the stone was made and our unwillingness to let something like that pass is another example of what I am talking about. The same way I am willing to give feedback to the restuarant manager when the food is cold, tough, raw etc or the server was rude, crude or inattentive.

In my younger years I would have simply "paid the bill" and walked out. I don't have the patience for it anymore.

[gunzo]

I'm 57 & think I have mellowed some (sure needed to) or maybe, just maybe a little smarter & learning when to walk away. On the other hand my brother, known in these parts as about the easiest going person around, all 6'4" of him seems to be going the other way, he's 51. In the past someone would try to push his buttons & his usual sayings were "oh well' or "whatever". But in the last few years it's "well come on over here and get you some" So the age thing has got me somewhat confused. Interesting thread, been pondering on the subject for a while.

steveb, PM sent

[steveb]

PM back at'cha Gunzo.. steve b(b stands fer bubble buster)

[steveb]

Ooooh, more patience issues. bare with me please.. steve b

[joej]

Wasn’t going to post, as common sense should guide us but gunzo’s post brought a little smile to my face – so here goes.

For a good part of my younger days I hung around some joints that no “tea tottler” would venture into (job related) and in those places an individual having an alligator mouth with a tadpole arse was set straight pretty quick.

I think if you know how to phrase things in a manner that doesn’t offend, but gets your point across – you’ll have a lot less run-ins, as some of those run-ins with “average looking” gents can take awhile, so pack a lunch just in case.

Kids today run their mouth a lot, as today’s law is on their side – ie, being called a SOB doesn’t mean you can make that individual curse his ole lady for giving him birth – for if you do, it’s called assault & battery for beginnings. Bide your time & pick your location if you must.

The older you get, the wiser you better become, as your reflexes and staying power is but a fraction of what your mind thinks it is. For most of us – well for me anyway, I still think in terms like I was 18 but once I get started, I soon realize that my body is no longer 18. I’m 2 months shy of 67.

As for doing what’s right and letting people/business know that something needs to be addressed – that goes without saying if it bothers you to the point that you want to address it. Just do it civility and it normally will go well - if the other person wants to argue about it – well, know your limits but if you decide to wade into something that’s clearly over your head – do so knowing what the outcome could be.

Axe & Kings6 made excellent posts, which I totally agree with but we are all made a little different and our past experiences should help guide us in personal interrelations – whatever that means.

[Markbo]

This forum alone has tested my patience more than once. Ya'll might remember about a year or two ago when two college age young men that were very obviously football class atheletes (read young, muscular and ripped) tried to goad me into a side of the road interaction. Chased me around MFing me and calling me every version of the female genetalia they could think of. All because I honked and flashed my lights when they ran a red light and pulled right out in front of me.

At one point, the driver, the mouthier and more muscular of the two got out of his car and ran toward me. All I could think of is 'please... don't touch me or my truck...' for obvious reasons. Instead of waiting for it and the ultimate showdown (which I would have won in the worst possible way) I managed to drive away - by going against traffic in the other lanes! When they caught up to me again I showed them my cellphone and explained the Sheriff's Dept was on the line and waiting for me to tell them where we were... they took off.

It could have ended very, very badly. And I was in the right. Only after the fact I realized I could have turned around and driven off at the very first exchange instead of giving it right back. I in effect, escalted the encounter instead of avoiding someone who just wanted to pick a fight.

It is the single reason I don't spend much time on this site, because of a personal attack with one of the more popular members here when instead of questioning my response on a thread, he questioned my intelligence. It escalated off the board to me finally offering to drive down to his little port town to take any IQ test he chose any day of any freakin week he wanted to choose I finally realized...."Is it really worth it?" is a question I try to ask myself now. No was the answer then as it usually is the answer now. Better to spend time away from someone who pushes your buttons and enjoy what precious little time I have to spend.

Like there is a huge difference between giving back too much change at the gas station and being truly honest with oneself, there is a huge difference between being willing to complain about poor service (in a nice way-anyone can just start bitching) and confronting a person about their behavior or opinion that is not directly affecting you.

I wish everyone here the best and sometimes keeping my mouth shut shows it better than saying anything at all.