Post by rkcohen on Sept 24, 2014 15:40:19 GMT -5
©09/14
in regards to the multiple uses for range house coffee and disgruntled members therein…
range house coffee
seems as though by a certain time in most folk’s lives, almost everyone develops the talent for making coffee to their liking.
and then there’s range house coffee made by the ancient crusty types believing that “crusty coffee” works at a level of satisfaction to most – most of the time – whether they like it or not, hell, it was good enough for real men on the beach at normandy….
it wasn’t until recently (in geologic terms) that i realized how “outside the loop” i was.
going in to a “starstruck’s” coffee shop with my grandkids, i found myself somewhat bewildered by the myriad combinations of jo.
who knew caffeine was an interpretive dance art form? I felt under-dressed for the occasion.
when the girl behind the counter asked for our order, one of the kids ordered something that would cause grievous injury if i were to try and repeat it…
remembering our range house brew master’s “crusty coffee,” i ordered what i grew up with in college, which was something we called a “shot in the dark.” it was a “break in case of emergency” sort of thing for those times when mid-term exams were the next morning and you had only started reading the material at 2130 the night before..
standing behind the counter, “moonbeam” looked confused and asked me to describe what i wanted.
telling her that a “shot in the dark” was strong jo with a shot of espresso in it, she daintily laughed and said “we call that a red eye!”
oh really? do tell. is there a name if it has two shots? “why of course – it’s called a black eye.”
now the hook was set! “so, what if it has three shots – do you call it a cross-eyed?”
at this, “moonbeam” burst out laughing – my grandsons running and diving for cover – the shame and embarrassment of an old coot causing this cute young thing to giggle uncontrollably, being too much to be identified with!
which brings us back to plain, simple, straight black jo and “crusty.”
around our camp, most of the boys bring a thermos from home with their version of the truth - “jo in a can” varies considerably from man to man, a caveat of warning to the uninitiated!
or, unsuspectingly (maybe bravely) they go to the range house for a cup of “crusty jo.”
some time back at one of our club meetings, a member put forward a motion declaring only certain members would have access to the “silver bullet” and would make it according to a rigid set of directions posted at that station.
the incumbent brew master – “crusty” was visibly miffed as his name was not on the list!
which started a running name calling campaign that would make the lincoln county range wars look like a campaign to educate baby duck awareness…
one of the remarks made to codify the brew process was based on the premise that the current caffeinated liquid had been observed to soften the bottom of the styrofoam cups and may have been considered a hazmat condition requiring an epa survey – this i suspect was done to cause panic thereby swaying member votes!
to his credit however, before crusty goes home in the evening, the old coffee gets poured out along the baseline of our range house – working his way around the facility – has over time - proven to create a terrific barrier against insect intrusion…
there is a story from before my arrival on the scene (imagine my surprise as a senior citizen being called “kid”) that one of our members was on the firing line and suddenly grabbed his chest, grimacing and crying out, he fell from the bench he was sitting at and went still.
some of the guys tried “shake and shout” while others naturally started arguing over which way to administer cpr, while others said they “knew where his mouth had been and he was as good as gone…”
apparently crusty was one of the ro guys that day and he calmly walked over to the range house, came back with a cup of “crusty jo,” tilted the recently expired club member’s head back and poured in the normally detestable brew.
immediately, “lazarus” jolted into an upright sitting position with both legs shaking, gagging and coughing, he began swearing violently.
he was back!
with a great sigh of relief we all knew we had not lost a dues paying member..
crusty simply walked back to his station, calmly turned and said “told you.”
and the name calling continues to this day……
in regards to the multiple uses for range house coffee and disgruntled members therein…
range house coffee
seems as though by a certain time in most folk’s lives, almost everyone develops the talent for making coffee to their liking.
and then there’s range house coffee made by the ancient crusty types believing that “crusty coffee” works at a level of satisfaction to most – most of the time – whether they like it or not, hell, it was good enough for real men on the beach at normandy….
it wasn’t until recently (in geologic terms) that i realized how “outside the loop” i was.
going in to a “starstruck’s” coffee shop with my grandkids, i found myself somewhat bewildered by the myriad combinations of jo.
who knew caffeine was an interpretive dance art form? I felt under-dressed for the occasion.
when the girl behind the counter asked for our order, one of the kids ordered something that would cause grievous injury if i were to try and repeat it…
remembering our range house brew master’s “crusty coffee,” i ordered what i grew up with in college, which was something we called a “shot in the dark.” it was a “break in case of emergency” sort of thing for those times when mid-term exams were the next morning and you had only started reading the material at 2130 the night before..
standing behind the counter, “moonbeam” looked confused and asked me to describe what i wanted.
telling her that a “shot in the dark” was strong jo with a shot of espresso in it, she daintily laughed and said “we call that a red eye!”
oh really? do tell. is there a name if it has two shots? “why of course – it’s called a black eye.”
now the hook was set! “so, what if it has three shots – do you call it a cross-eyed?”
at this, “moonbeam” burst out laughing – my grandsons running and diving for cover – the shame and embarrassment of an old coot causing this cute young thing to giggle uncontrollably, being too much to be identified with!
which brings us back to plain, simple, straight black jo and “crusty.”
around our camp, most of the boys bring a thermos from home with their version of the truth - “jo in a can” varies considerably from man to man, a caveat of warning to the uninitiated!
or, unsuspectingly (maybe bravely) they go to the range house for a cup of “crusty jo.”
some time back at one of our club meetings, a member put forward a motion declaring only certain members would have access to the “silver bullet” and would make it according to a rigid set of directions posted at that station.
the incumbent brew master – “crusty” was visibly miffed as his name was not on the list!
which started a running name calling campaign that would make the lincoln county range wars look like a campaign to educate baby duck awareness…
one of the remarks made to codify the brew process was based on the premise that the current caffeinated liquid had been observed to soften the bottom of the styrofoam cups and may have been considered a hazmat condition requiring an epa survey – this i suspect was done to cause panic thereby swaying member votes!
to his credit however, before crusty goes home in the evening, the old coffee gets poured out along the baseline of our range house – working his way around the facility – has over time - proven to create a terrific barrier against insect intrusion…
there is a story from before my arrival on the scene (imagine my surprise as a senior citizen being called “kid”) that one of our members was on the firing line and suddenly grabbed his chest, grimacing and crying out, he fell from the bench he was sitting at and went still.
some of the guys tried “shake and shout” while others naturally started arguing over which way to administer cpr, while others said they “knew where his mouth had been and he was as good as gone…”
apparently crusty was one of the ro guys that day and he calmly walked over to the range house, came back with a cup of “crusty jo,” tilted the recently expired club member’s head back and poured in the normally detestable brew.
immediately, “lazarus” jolted into an upright sitting position with both legs shaking, gagging and coughing, he began swearing violently.
he was back!
with a great sigh of relief we all knew we had not lost a dues paying member..
crusty simply walked back to his station, calmly turned and said “told you.”
and the name calling continues to this day……
... the only use I ever found for that stuff ( so thick you cut it off with a knife when you got a cup full ) was as a handwarmer... & I gave up on deer shack coffee, when they came out with those little shaker paper pocket warmers 
